North Star Coaching

Inventing a pattern based upon a single event.

 

'I smashed a glass - everything always goes wrong for me'

 

'She doesn't like me - nobody likes me'

 

 

'If I haven't done it right I have failed' 

 

'If it can't be perfect I won't do it at all'

Ignoring the good things that have happened or the good things that you have done

 

'That doesn't count'

 

Only paying attention to certain events

 

Noticing our failures but not our successes

 

Imagining we know what others are thinking

'She didn't call  because she doesn't like me'

 

Predicting the future

'I will never meet someone to share my life with'

Blowing things out of proportion

 

'If I don't finish this report I will get fired'

 

Labelling ourselves and others

 

'I'm a loser'

'I'm the expert, they are such idiots'

Assuming that because we feel a certain way what we think must be true

 

'I feel embarrassed so I must be an idiot'

Assigning responsibility to self or others

 

'If I had reminded him he wouldn't have forgotten the tickets'

 

 

Using critical words like 'should', 'must' or 'ought' can make us feel guilty like we have already failed

 

When we apply 'shoulds' to other people the result is often frustration